Frustration and anger

Thank you Channel 4 news for your daring news ‘expose’ on the ‘situation in the camps’.  It is a pity that you were not able to get more feedback from other humanitarian agencies working on the ground or that some of the footage was in fact rather questionable, but nevertheless, sneaking a ‘hidden’ camera into a camp trying to get some dirt on the authorities.  Master stroke!! Of course, they possibly didn’t realise that by doing such an ‘intelligent’ thing, they would just be making things difficult for those of us who have to remain and work in this setting.  As news broke out of the deportation of these journalists at the beginning of the week, the clampdown as expected took place.  Cameras are now prohibited in the camps and security has been tightened. So our circle of influence which we were initially enjoying has now shrunk and we now have to regain that trust and acceptance.

I really don’t understand how this current scenario is being played out internationally.  On the one hand, you have stories on the media about the plight of IDPs in camps in Pakistan and the concern for access for agencies, yet no one is pin pointing the government of Pakistan.  Yet in the same breath, the same scenario is happening here in Sri Lanka, but it is the fault of the government.  Not that I am excusing the Sri Lankan government by all means.  Everyone will have to answer for whatever action they have taken.

The world is so concerned about what is happening in the No Fire Zone.  I am not here to explain or criticise what is happening in the No Fire Zone or who is shelling who.  This is out of my circle of influence and the majority of the other humanitarian agencies.  What we can do is to actually respond to the growing emergency needs of those that have been displaced.  This is our mandate.

This is why I can’t understand why some of the agencies are not responding to the crisis and how some of my colleagues are willing to hold the lives of many of the displaced people at bay, for political gain.  A lot of them seem to take the line of Non Governmental as being anti government.  So whatever the government says, we have to object.  Not in the line of  ‘let us see where the gaps are and fill them in because this is our mandate’. 

 Sure there are difficulties in access and clearance, but this is the system.  Like in most countries around the world, you get into the system and effect change. You can’t be on the outside and effect change.

 This is what many of my colleagues are unfortunately doing and I am getting annoyed because it is at the expense of the lives of these IDPs.  More than once I have heard the comment ‘we will have to do an assessment and see the requirements’.  I don’t understand that!!! What is there to check?  You have 170,000 people who have been displaced and who need the basic: water, shelter, food, sanitation.  It’s common sense.  The government has the responsibility to do something and should be accountable, but then again so do we because that is what we are there for.   We are not there to drive around in our 4x4s with our flags flying and just doing assessments.  The sad thing is that we should not be doing assessments because we were expecting this. 

 How many times, have we assured the government that we are ready for this situation?  We have prepared stockpiles and set aside funds.  Yet nothing seems to have happened.  These are the serious questions that we need to ask ourselves before we are asked.  We were supposed to be prepared for this.  This is not unexpected like Pakistan.  What happened?

The coordination meetings are happening though!! I remember getting the minutes of one meeting, where it was stated that no more doctors were needed since the needs had been met.  Hence anyone applying for support from donors in bringing in doctors would be rejected.  I then looked at the daily update that had come from my team on the field. ‘We have a shortage of doctors’.  Somewhere there is a disconnect!

‘We want to pressurise the government to return these people back as soon as possible ,’ one head of mission told me as he politely refused my request to support some of my operational costs. ‘So do we’, I replied, ‘but this doesn’t mean I should not do anything now.’  Unfortunately, there are many who are taking the line that the government created this mess and they should clean up but this argument falls apart when it is a group of civilians who have no means of support and help.

Standards need to be met and procedures need to be followed is always the cry of the agencies.  We need to ensure that the need is met.  I remember a couple of years ago, a government agent saying ‘What standards?  I just need one toilet to be built for this camp.  Just one out of a need of at least twenty and you bring standards and quality into this!’

I think there is something fundamentally wrong in the way that we as a humanitarian community are approaching this crisis (and the same goes for others around the world).  We seem to have forgotten that this is not a job but a calling.  A calling to serve those most in need! No time does this calling become more apparent than during an emergency, when we have to do the most efficient and effective response possible to meet those in need.  Lives can not be compromised.

I am in no doubt now that we will not receive the support from the bigger humanitarian organisations and donors because of what I have written.  You see much of the donor support is like being in an old boys club.  You rub my back and I rub yours.  I don’t think I fit in or want to fit into such a club.  Yet the sad thing is that there are a few agencies like ours that are genuinely trying to work and we are now looking at pulling out after three months, because we do not have the funds to carry out the operations.  This is the saddest irony of this whole situation.  

Meeting the Challenges of displacement

What a difference a week makes.  In the last week, there seems to be some sort of order coming to the camps.  The task is momentous as the numbers of people are continuously increasing in parallel to the expansion of the camps, so to some extent things are happening simultaneously.  Despite all the preparations, the sheer volume has meant that the first week was always chaotic.   

It seems that those that have been displaced to Trincomalee, will eventually also be placed in Vavunia.  In hindsight, it may be a good move in order to facilitate the aid process, otherwise it does make things logistically difficult to handle especially for emergency relief.  As the dust settles, the authorities are quietly getting along with the business of getting the camps in order.  That business consists of getting in electricity, sorting out water supply, clearing land for more camps and ensuring that the beneficiaries are getting the best of what they can.  Credit needs to be given where it is due and in the face of such huge challenges it has been remarkable to see the authorities at work.  The forests are being cleared at a terrific pace, the tents are being put up (there was a rumor that about 12,000 tents were put up in one day) and it has been fascinating to watch the electricity being put in.  Within two days, the pylons were up and the wires being set up with the intention of electricity being given within a day.  When things need to get done, it appears that  it is being done.  As a colleague wryly remarked ‘If only they could be this efficient in Colombo!’

One image that seems to be associated with this current situation is queues.  As you drive up to Vavunia, you arrive at Medavichia (about 35km drive south of Vavunia).  This is seen in some circles as the last point between the ‘north’  and the rest of the country.   If you are lucky you can only spend an hour at this checkpoint, otherwise on average, it is about 2 – 3 hours and no one is spared.  Everyone is expected to be searched and then let through.  In previous times, vehicles were not allowed to go past this checkpoint without a Ministry of Defence pass.  Hence what a lot of agencies have ended up doing is to drive up to Medavachia and then swap vehicles with ones coming from Vavunia.  In any case, whatever happens, the vehicle also inevitably is put on a ramp and checked. A hassle, nevertheless but what about those who are in public transport?

The day we entered, there were about 40 vehicles parked in front of us waiting for clearance.  Many of them were from corporates sending in relief items.  There was a fleet of about 10 fire and rescue ambulances and trucks from various municipal councils.  They were getting the same treatment.  The police officer who checked us was very polite but unapologetic ‘Sorry sir, we have a duty to check to ensure security and safety’.  You can’t argue with that.  They check all your luggage and go through the car with a fine tooth comb.  I just pity those who have to unload items from a truck and then put it back.

Before you enter Manic Farm, which is the site of the largest camp holding the most number of displaced people (around 170,000), there is a queue whilst the Military Police check your access pass and go through the vehicle.  All precautionary security measures.  People are inevitably nervous.

Once you enter the camp though, then you see the real queues.  People are queuing for water, food, to use the bathroom, to get some relief item and so on.  ‘It has been quite orderly.  When we first started, there were mini riots as people surged to get things.  It was as if they had not seen these things before’, remarked one NGO worker.

This is what strikes you about the current situation.  The people are so desperate and have been deprived of so much that anything for them now is a luxury.  This is not just because of the current situation but one can see the effect of long term deprivation.  Many of the mothers who have been coming to our mobile hospital are suffering from malnutrition, not because they have been hungry for the last couple of months, but because easily for the last 3 years or so, they have been deprived of essential food and nutrients.  So there must be some truth to the photographs that were shown on state media purportedly of how government food aid that was sent to the LTTE control areas ended up in LTTE bunkers or in the warehouses owned by the LTTE leadership.  From what we are seeing on the ground, it certainly did not necessarily go to the people. 

Most of these displaced people have been mentally brought to a point of desperation with many of them being continuously displaced since 2006.  A few have just expressed relief for the fact that they are able to sleep in some aspect of comfort without the threat and sound of shells.  Talk to them and you get a sense of how fruitless their lives must have been, just moving from place to place, being caught up in a battle that they knew nothing of or did not want to be a part of.  Many of them speak of family members who were forcibly conscripted to fight.  Yet in the midst of all this pain and suffering, there doesn’t seem to be much sorrow.  It is as if they have lost the capacity for sorrow . Most of them are though hopeful for the future.  As one IDP told me ‘I just want to go back to my place and restart my livelihood.  I don’t care how long that will take.  I cant be a refugee’.

This seems to be the message that one is consistently hearing.  There is no sense of grievance or anger against the government or the army.  Many IDPs have spoken of their surprise at the gentle way they have been treated by the army and the government, the ‘perceived’ other side.  The message is one of going back and restarting their livelihood.

This is a message that even the government seems to have heard.  Yesterday the President convened a meeting with heads of agencies and the message that came across was very simple. ‘We need to work together to help our people return back to safety and normalcy.  This is our  responsibility, duty and our plan’  Powerful words coming directly from the Head of State.  The hope is that this message is consistently played to all stakeholders and sectors of society and that this is the way the future is played out.

chaos and uncertainty

Today has been an entirely chaotic day, not unexpected.  By the time I got into office, I had already had about 10 different phone calls all about responding to what is now a dire humanitarian crisis.  As is symptomatic in Sri Lanka where there is a calm before the storm, the sleepiness of the last 10 days when there were extended holidays in Sri Lanka was suddenly shattered today as there were frantic and almost panic ridden attempts to get access into areas where the IDPs are being kept.  So far there has been very little access given as a result of what can best be described as a political tennis match being played in Colombo between heads of NGOs and the government.  Between the two parties, it is very clear that the eventual losers will be those 100,000 plus who have been displaced, all in all, a very frustrating thing considering what is happening in the north.  It is as my colleague said ‘it is a crime that we are sitting here with all our equipment ready to help people and not doing anything’.  Whilst the need to sign an MOU of operation with the government has been an unwelcome additional bureaucratic hurdle, what has also been unhelpful has been the attitude from some of the NGOs.    As one weary ministry official told me, ‘look we have learnt from the tsunami. You guys came in with loads of money and promised the sky and the moon.  Some of that was not delivered and some of that ended up in the wrong hands.  We don’t want to take any chances’.  There is very little you can argue with that but just to persevere.  Thankfully it seems that access will be granted and we will be let in.  So today has been spent trying to ensure all our equipment and supplies and staff are primed for entering.

This week in particular, we have watched images flashed across our screens of people crossing lakes and rivers and being met by the Sri Lankan armed forces. ‘the biggest humanitarian exercise in history’ as the president claimed. As the physical battle seems to be reaching to a logical conclusion, the battle has been moved to cyberspace with claims and counter claims being levelled at each other.  It is obvious from following the discussions on you tube or face book or even for that matter alertnet that feelings run very deep on both sides.   This has also been played out on the streets of Europe much to the surprise of many here in Sri Lanka as well as disgust.  One of my friends told me ‘you know I can understand the deep distrust and resentment of Tamils to the Sri Lankan government.  They have suffered in the past.  What I don’t understand is why they choose to fly the flags of the LTTE?’  This is the one argument that is on everyone’s mind. 

When looking at these, I can not help but be reminded of the analogy of the shattered mirror.  Each one of us holds a piece of that shattered mirror and ‘‘you will find parts of the truth everywhere and the whole truth nowhere’’.

This past week, more than ever has there been a need to cast aside those preconceived notions.  If the images of malnourished women and children have not struck a chord in your heart, then surely the sight of over run hospitals with the injured and wounded should have.  The need of the hour is for a moratorium of these thoughts.  For once in a long time, why can’t the thoughts be about those innocent civilians who need our help?  It is not about the politics of the situation nor about right and wrong or about unfettered access or limited access.  It is not about forgetting past grievances for to do this will dishonour all those who have suffered.  We should not forget the blot on Sri Lanka’s history that was 1983 when Tamils were forced to leave Sri Lanka in their thousands; nor should we forget those Muslims who were forced to leave Jaffna in 1990 and who have been in refugee camps since then; nor those who have been killed directly or indirectly as a result of the conflict particularly the poor rural Sinhalese villagers who comprise most of the armed forces.

The need of the hour is that 100,000 civilians plus through no fault of their own are now in desperate need of help.  It is obvious that this is a logistical nightmare for any government to handle.  The need of the hour is for support to be given from all stakeholders.  It is now time to rise and cast aside the shackles of our discontent.  Already there are signs that people want to help.  Our office has received many offers to help and donations for the IDPs and even offers to help on the ground.  These are from people who genuinely are feeling for the plight of these helpless and voiceless people.  In this light, these singular offers of help emerge as small shards of glass brought together by the crisis to form an embryonic union, and a template for a larger cosmopolitan mosaic.

Building Bridges between Communities

Thashreeq Moulawi still remembers his childhood well.  A 4-5 km walk one way to middle school in Muttur was a chore.  Growing up in the village of Arafa Nagar separated from the Mainland by a river, children from the village had to take a long detour round. ‘It used to take a whole hour to get to school’ he reminisces.  ‘There was a lot of discussion on putting a bridge across the river, however it somehow never used to materialize.  There were numerous attempts to put a temporary bridge and then the rains would come and wash the bridge away’.  So crossing the river meant swimming or using boats.  Life in the early seventies seemed much simpler then.  After school it was helping out with the family farm.  Thashreeq Moulawi’s forefathers had first settled in the village in 1914 to cultivate.

In the early eighties, the scenario started to change.  The politics of the land started to catch up with the small community of Arafa Nagar.  A predominately Muslim village surrounded by 5 Tamil villages, Tashreeq remembers the growing mistrust that started to emerge between the two ethnic communities.  ‘As a child, I remember having Tamil friends and playing with them in the fields that divided some of these villages.  As I became a teenager, we stopped playing with each other and our village elders would warn us about associating with the Tamils.  There emerged this mistrust’.

In 1985, following an escalation in the conflict, the outskirts of Muttur was occupied by the LTTE and the muslim village of Arafa Nagar was displaced to the mainland of Muttur.  For twenty plus years or so, from Muttur, they looked across the river at their deprived fertile lands as they noticed it being occupied.  Gradually these lands were also abandoned and became overgrown.  The people of Arafa Nagar had to change their lifestyles as production levels decreased and they were forced to take on other jobs to survive.   As the years passed by, Thashreeq Moulawi began to lose hope in ever returning to the land of his forefathers.

In 2006, following an escalation in the conflict between the LTTE and the Sri Lankan army in Muttur which saw about 50,000 people displaced from Mutur to Kanthale a town 60 miles south, Thashreeq Moulawi lost all hope of things going back to normal.  The 2006 conflict also saw the inhabitants of the  Tamil villages of Amman Nagar and others which surrounded Arafa Nagar also being displaced.

One month after the displacement, Thashreeq Moulawi was repatriated in Muttur and along with his friends and family were exploring the extreme possibility of returning back to Arafa Nagar.

‘We were skeptical, but somehow we wanted to believe that we could actually return back to Arafa Nagar’ he reminisces.  Getting together with other village elders most of whom were all childhood friends, a plan and proposal was prepared for resettling back in Arafa Nagar as a duty towards building a better Muttur.  As the friends discussed, they identified that if they were to return back, it would take one thing.  Building a permanent bridge across the river!!

An assessment team by Muslim Aid, in October 2006, looking at ways of rebuilding the shattered town were approached and the proposal was discussed with them.  They added that if given access to these lands once more, they could return to their hometown and restart their lush cultivations once more. The idea was initially met with skepticism by the team.  Thashreeq Moulawi explains ‘we had to convince them that this idea was valid.  It sounded too far fetched.  If returning to an area to restart livelihoods after 20 years  sounded crazy, our assertion that building a bridge across the river would cause this to happen was nonsense.  However we took them to the area and showed them the river and the land’.  After much persuasion, the assessment team agreed to take this proposal into consideration.

It was in April 2007, that Muslim Aid (this time with another organization Americares) came back  to do the initial groundwork and surveys.  The people of Arafa Nagar buoyed by this unexpected development came together to form a community based organization, Rural Development Society (RDS).   They could see a faint light at the end of the tunnel.  The organization resolved to show the two organizations that they were fully behind the building of the bridge and started to organize go and see visits to the area using local boats.  Eventually they organized cleaning up programs and the whole area was cleaned in preparation for the return.

As the construction proceeded, once, they were assured of their safety, the community started the resettling process and together with support from Muslim Aid and other organizations cleaned up their village, roads, and wells etc., before they got down to cultivation. Simultaneously,  other agencies  have intervened and put up temporary shelters for the people, barbed wire to fence off their respective plots and jack, papaya and other useful seedlings to help make the village a hub of production. As a direct result of this, today we see 400-500 acres of land being cultivated on.

  RDS resolved to build a temporary bridge in order to aid returning farmers.  Thashreeq Moulawi was one of the founding members ‘We were so excited about the building of the bridge.  I remember that when it first started, we would be bringing food and drinks for the laborers.  We felt that these people were not doing a job, they were doing a service and for that we wanted to show our gratitude.  We wanted to encourage people to go back so that by the time the bridge was built.  So we built a temporary bridge to facilitate this process’.

The construction of the bridge was not without problems.  Initially beset by design challenges and ignorance of the ground conditions, a change of contractors and laborers was not helped by inclement weather conditions and political interference.  At one stage the army who has a base close to Amman Nagar declared parts of the area a high security zone, which meant that returnees would not be able to access their lands, a problem compounded by the return of the displaced Tamil community back to Amman Nagar.  RDS approached the Tamil community and together made representations to the Army commander who initially allowed people to return during the day to look after their farms.  This has since been overturned and people are now allowed to stay during the nights.

‘The returning Tamil communities from the neighbouring villages was a concern initially for us’ remembers Thashreeq Moulawi. ‘After decades of being apart and having the mistrust, we were initially apprehensive.  However when the army declared it a high security zone, both communities got together on this common issue.  We wanted the right to return and rebuild our own lands.  This was the start of the thawing of relations.  We began to understand that we not really that different.  All our communities wanted to do was to do our livelihoods, out a roof over our heads, food on the table and send our children to school.  This  understanding was vital for us and in fact the building of the bridge in some way was the catalyst for us to start cooperating’

Chitra a resident of Amman Nagar, agrees ‘ previously we would have had to walk around 3½ kms just to access a hospital or school, before. Once we returned after the displacement we were keen on rebuilding and restarting our lives.  This bridge is helping us in terms of economic enhancement whilst also helping our communities to come together’

This past year, the communities have celebrated each other’s religious and cultural festivals whilst also providing support to each other in terms of livelihood. 

AmeriCares and Muslim Aid finally ceremonially opened the bridge nicknamed ‘The Friendship Bridge’ on 26^th February 2009. The bridge will play a twin role of linking these two agricultural villages to the mainland, and also, the more significant role of “building bridges” between the two communities. The main objective now for both communities seems to be, to work towards making their villages a joint hub of production, from where they can export their produce to the main market in Dambulla which is about 125km south of Muttur. Their joint cultivation area spans over about 400 acres of land, at present.

What is most significant about the building of this bridge is the bringing together of the two neighbouring villages of the predominantly Tamil village of Amman Nagar and  the predominantly Muslim Arafa Nagar, a village.  Both communities are now living and  Muslims working together side by side, retaining their own identities and also co-existing without misunderstanding.

As Thashreeq Moulawi says ‘Now, because of the bridge, it takes our children only about 5 minutes to do the trip. Having only recently moved back to Arafa Nagar as an Imam in the village mosque, I too have now begun cultivating and returning to my old way of life. Earlier, there was also a lot of mistrust between the Muslim and Tamil communities living here, as Arafa Nagar is surrounded by 5 predominantly Tamil villages. Nearly 500 families cross this bridge on a day to day basis. We hope this new bridge will bring about peace between the two communities’” 

 I reflected on this the day I drove into Arafa Nagar on the day prior to the opening of the bridge, and saw a Tamil family and a Muslim family sipping tea together under the shade of a tree, looking on as their children laughed and played nearby…  the natural sense of synergy had just been achieved.  I knew that one part of our work was done but there still remains much to be achieved on this long walk. 

long walk to freedom

Over  the last couple of months I have become increasingly frustrated with the state of affairs in Sri Lanka. 

As a humanitarian worker, it has definitely been frustrating not to be able to respond properly to the emerging humanitarian crisis in the north.  The deteriorating security conditions and the government’s reluctance to allow access into those areas have meant that response has been patchy, mainly through the government channels or through local partners.  There is of course concern about the plights of the civilians who are not only trapped within the slowly decreasing area held by the Tigers but also concern for those who have made it into government areas particularly with regards their future state.  It is not clear to anyone what the future plans are.  The speculations and rumours though mount.

However even more frustrating has been the attitude of several of my colleagues and associates who seem to take a ‘moral high ground’ by dictating terms and conditions to the government for responding to the crisis and thereby not really responding at all. There are of course two sides to the argument.  NGOs want unrestricted access and no interference.  With most of the national media questioning the impact of the work that some of these agencies have been doing in the areas controlled by the LTTE post tsunami and similar rhetoric from across the world in Sudan, it is no surprise that the government is being less than cooperative.  This does not however justify the stalemate that seems to have arisen vis-a-vis humanitarian response.  More than once, I have had frustrated government officials  and others ask me ‘what is the agenda of NGOs  apart from working against the interests of the country?  Why are they refusing to respond and creating problems?’

 I find myself at times also beginning to question the mandate and the interest of people of my industry.  Just what does it mean to be Non Governmental?  Is this an automatic assumption that we have to be anti government?  Is the NGO presence in a country somewhat symbolic of a bad and corrupt government who is not interested in its people and hence the NGOs are there as the saviours?  Or is it because we are there to complement the work  and bureaucracy of the government and getting into areas much more quickly than the government, pulling them up when things go wrong, but also working with them to ensure that things go right?

The rules and regulations and security coupled with the anti NGOs perception makes it a difficult cocktail to swallow in Sri Lanka.    It is a difficult yet not insurmountable challenge (Just ask those who are working in Myanmar about the difficulties of access and cooperation).  Yet I have been amazed by the resolve of some of the government officials and army officers who have set themselves the task of sorting out the current humanitarian situation.  Talk to them and you will find a commitment voiced to helping these displaced.  ‘We need to look after them and ensure they return.  After all these are our people’ has been a common statement that i have consistently heard.  Yet i know the cynics will claim that this is all rhetoric and one only  has to look at the extremist elements shouting here and there to know the real intentions of the government. 

This is the other frustrating thing about the situation.  There is no objective voice being heard.  Tune into the media and you will hear the pro government media waxing lyrical about the achievements and accomplishments against ‘the enemy’ and on the other side, you will hear the anti government propaganda, often led by arm chair exiles sitting comfortably in their cosy seats in the west, proclaiming the ‘genocide’.  No chance is being given to actually find out what is going on and no opportunity is being given to launch into any debate and discussion on the matter.  It seems that this public relations exercise is being conducted oblivious of the civilians who are caught up in this are being held to ransom and they are suffering for something that is not of their own doing.

I have also been frustrated by the public response or seeming lack of it.  There has been some muted support from individuals and organisations donating money and items but nothing along the lines of what we have seen before in times of crisis.  It seems that in the midst of the hustle and bustle of daily life, this is just one incident.  People can blame the current economic crisis or the security or the government, but what is striking is the apathy of people.   The humanitarian condition has not struck the hearts of people in Colombo, regardless of what affliation they are.   There seems to be no appetite to respond.  This is the saddest part of the whole situation.  There is instead resignation that once the major conflict ends, there will be guerrilla warfare and more suicide attacks taking place at public gatherings such as what happened this past week.  ‘Goes to show that we should not have public events with ministers’ was one comment i heard from people.  Not the type of response i perhaps would have been looking for.  This is not the attitude or the reaction needed  for change.  Tamils, Sinhalese and Muslim alike are reluctant, hesitant or indifferent to respond.  Blame is so easily shifted onto the government but this is not the answer.   The people have to will this change.   This last week, we have seen by the incidents of the Viva Palestine convoy that entered Gaza, that where there is a will, there is most certainly a way. 

Unless we individually as citizens of this country and collectively as a society realise that a suicide bomb outside a mosque is not just against the Muslims but against Sri Lankans; that harassment and infringement of the rights of tamils is an infringement of the rights of Sri Lankans; that an attack on Sinhalese farmers is an attack on Sri Lankan farmers; that the ‘country truly belongs to all’, no matter how many wars are won, this will continue.  This current war will end but what happens beyond the conflict?  What are we as individuals going to do within our circle of influence to ensure that nothing like this is ever repeated again?  The responsibility is ours collectively, citizens of this country; members of parliament and lawmakers; members of civil society and NGOs;  as a majority to ensure the minority are looked after and as a minority to ensure our voices are heard.  We can not afford to rest on our laurels  for as Nelson Mandela once said ‘ I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended’