Dear fellow traveller

 Dear fellow traveller on this journey of being human,

As we travel together enjoying this journey of life, bickering about the destination, worrying about its purpose, it can feel incredibly emotional and overwhelming.  When external circumstances divert our path or put in obstacles, it can feel uncertain.  The last few days have reminded me of the globalisation of fragility and the democratisation of inequality and inequity.  Just as we thought we were seeing the light at the end of the COVID tunnel, it seemed to have been blown up with an unsettling  prospect of another global war (on our doorsteps).  The journey will require great mental resolve and strength to get through these uncertain times.

So I wanted to share with you that it is ok not to be ok all the time.  It is ok to feel disoriented, overwhelmed, stress, sadness, loneliness and languishing, anxiety.  Believe me that I have had those moments of feeling overwhelmed and disconnected – from other people, from our own values or from hope about the future.  The last few days have been no different.

These emotions affect us in our jobs and our lives and pretending they don’t exist will not help us.  So I firstly wanted to say, that if you have experienced or are experiencing these roller coaster of emotions and doubts, please know that you are not alone!! I hear you, there is nothing to be worried or ashamed about and you do not need to turn it off when you get to work.  It is not a sign of weakness to show that you are vulnerable.  In fact as Rumi says :

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

This brings me to my second point, in that.  Please do take care of yourself.  There is no shame in feeling overwhelmed and disconnected, admitting that or even reaching out to talk to someone.   I want you to know that if you want support or someone to talk to or someone to listen, I am on the other side of a call.  But if it is not me there will always be someone to do that.

My third point, is that while it is ok not to feel ok, please know that in the long run, things will be OK.  Tomorrow is a new day and it has the potential to be great!!  You have to back yourself up and trust that all of your hard work, your delivering of value to the world, your visualizing and visioning, your personal growth practices, your journaling, your prayers and so on, will prepare you and allow you to stand steadfast in the trouble.  For those of you who have read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho we are reminded to : ‘Go; travel the world, look for the truth and the secret of life — every road will lead you to this sense of initiation: the secret is hidden in the place from which you set out’.  The path and destination starts with ourselves.   So in essence the radical self care that comes out of  personal peace practices whereby the constant effort that we make to purify, to control and liberate our hearts is in the end, reconciliation with the deepest level of our being and the all spark that the Creator breathed into our heart of humility, of compassion,  the awareness of fragility, the consciousness of limitation, the shoulder of responsibility. The responsibility is to live justly and fairly.  It is a responsibility that connects to the ‘other’, the responsibility to be that change for a  world which makes sense, a world in which we connect with other people, beyond our immediate communities and experience, and show them compassion and love.  It is now more than ever that we need to show that responsibility to connect to that other and the humility that we are not the rulers of the world but merely guardians of earth as we borrow from our grandchildren.    

Have faith that I and countless others have your back.  But more importantly, have conviction that  the higher force that works to keep the world in balance know what it’s doing.  Have faith that we as a species will eventually figure it all out and make things better through our native instinct for invention and progress.  But have faith that your little endeavors to change the world one person at a time is saving humanity.

So, take a long, great inhale.  Let it all go (while you keep doing your best).

Then go sit outside in the sunshine and bask in the love that the sun has for the earth, every day rising and never saying “you owe me”.  Let life do the rest.

May you shine so brightly that at the end of your days, all will pause and say ‘ah there was one who lived life fully and completely and gave back ’

Stay great. Stand Strong. Together we rise.

-Amjad

this originally appeared here on Euphrates Institute

Trust building Part 2: the need for dialogue

This is the second part of a 2 part series exploring the role of trust and dialogue. the first part looked at what trust means. Building on the first part of this blog, dialogue is a means and a goal of bridging the trust deficit.

In his Christmas sermon, Pope Francis called for dialogue on the world stage to resolve conflict. This is an important recognition of the role of dialogue as a foundation for resolving conflict as it builds trust.

Dialogue can transform individuals in societies in a way that increases true social cohesion, because it strengthens trust and understanding, and enables real relationships to be built across differences. Dialogue is a two way process of mutual accommodation that can only take place if both “sides” have a deeper understanding of the needs, perspectives, desires, fears, and priorities of the other. It is not just about understanding what the other is saying, but what they really mean.

As the international centre for dialogue (KAICIID) interfaith dialogue manual states, dialogue is more than just a conversation. The goal is not to find a resolution to a problem or settling on a specific action, but the point is to explore and find common ground, leading to solutions or cooperation. This is a particular important tool in diverse societies seeking to incorporate, celebrate and use that diversity. Dialogue becomes an effective approach to strengthening social cohesion within culturally and religiously diverse societies because it allows for people to maintain their various identities while still finding common ground.

common ground

Dialogue helps people who are different sides of an argument; those that are marginalised and excluded, to understand that they are not alone in their hopes and fears; nor do people need to be afraid or ashamed to ask difficult questions to seek to understand, to respect and ultimately to accept differences without compromising one’s beliefs or identities.

Dialogue is a powerful tool that can be undertaken in both formal and informal settings. Diaological approaches provides a certain code to undertake informal dialogue. This determines a set of principles to be followed in the interaction with the other. It provides for a quality of interaction that allows for a way of getting involved in different creative processes where the participants can feel included and empowered, safe to be transparent, take risks, open to what others have to say and able to take long term view of the issues.

These are important ways to strengthen cohesion as it maintains identities whilst finding common grounds

Thus the aim of dialogue is to overcome misunderstandings and dispel stereotypes in order to gain better mutual understanding. Rather than necessarily agreeing on a point of view, dialogue is about recognising and developing mutual respect so as to build sustainable relationships. By focusing on common needs, dialogue builds bridges and transforms human relations. It fosters deeper understanding, so that even though disagreements may persist, an appreciation for the perspectives of the other can emerge .

identity formation

In taking a dialogical approach, misperceptions and fears can be dispelled, understanding built which lays the ground work for practical approaches to peaceful coexistence. This is extremely important when we are faced with the politics of identity as we are increasingly faced with now. As social beings, we have a unique collection of thoughts, habits and beliefs that define who we are, as they have been imprinted on our lives through a series of events and contexts. This shapes our identity and our expressions and representations of it. As Amartya Sen (2007) writes “Identity incorporates the ideas, beliefs, qualities and expressions that make a person who he/she is. This self-perception is modelled by relation with others and with an individual’s own context in time”.

Identities are important because they form the basis of who we believe ourselves to be and how we fit in with the world. Identity formation gives the sense of worth and value to people. It constructs their common views and meanings, shaping their experiences, perception and behaviour. Identity is represented through cultural attributes. While cultures may differ from one another, one aspect they all share in common is that they provide a framework to fulfil the primary human need to belong. Thus, humans strive to fulfil this basic need to belong through one or more of the broader collective identities, in addition to the recognition of their own personal identity. Their cultural identity often overlaps with language and ethnicity, and sometimes also religion.

Worldviews are also important in dialogue as they define how a person views the world, including all the conscious and unconscious elements that form and influence the person’s perception of reality. A worldview can be seen as dynamic, as these elements, as well as the individual’s perception of reality, may change over time. Therefore, inter worldview dialogue aims to improve mutual understanding of different worldviews, including the numerous identities and sub-identities, and it opens pathways for more inclusive language.

When we feel unacknowledged or receive negative feedback or experience negative reactions to our personal identities, we tend to suppress our identity and develop coping narratives. Sometimes these narratives are used to justify violence against others, and foster further exclusion or inclusion of only those with whom we share that particular identity. The good news is that the same is true in the reverse: when identities are recognised and affirmed, we also develop narratives about them. Ultimately these stories act as a protective mechanism and directly affect how we interact with others as well as influence who we choose to engage with and who we choose to avoid. Thus, when we have a single story that has been built upon negative stereotypes and false perceptions of those who are different from us, we can easily become prone towards prejudice and discrimination against others.

Dialogue allows us to become more aware of these power dynamics of identities and hierarchy of identities. Dialogue requires clarity of purpose. We need to be aware of What do we want to achieve and what questions do we need to answer in order to get there?

Building blocks

As someone who has been working in the space of dialogue and trust building over the last decade, here are some some of the building blocks that I have learnt that enable us to have a conversation and keep a focus on the end goal

1) Approach as a golden rule — We need to be aware of the golden rule of treating others as we wish to be treated. Bx expanding this premise, we respect others just as we expect others to respect us. We need to respect the differences that make each and everyone unique. Dialogue can take then place only between equals, which means that partners learn from each others

2) Honesty and sincerity — It is imperative that each participant comes to the dialogue process with complete honesty and sincerity. This means not only describing the major and minor thrusts, as well as potential future shifts of one’s tradition, but also possible difficulties that s/he has with it. Everyone must be honest and sincere, even if that means revealing discomforts with your own tradition or that of the other. Everyone must assume that everyone else is being equally honest and sincere

3) Openness to learn and to understanding and embracing other identities- The essential purpose of dialogue is to learn, which entails change. At the very least, to learn that one’s dialogue partner views the world differently is to effect a change in oneself. Reciprocally, change happens for one’s partner as s/he learns about her/himself. One needs to enter into dialogue so that you can learn and grow, not to change the other. This means we need to relearn the art of listening and be willing to experience it from within, which requires a “passing over,” even if only momentarily, into another’s religious or ideological experience All should strive to experience the other’s faith “from within” and be prepared to view themselves differently as a result of an “outside” perspective. People must not come to the dialogue with any preconceptions as to where the points of disagreement lie. A process of agreeing with one’s partner as much as possible, without violating the integrity of one’s own tradition, will reveal where the real boundaries between the traditions lie: the point where s/he cannot agree without going against the principles of one’s own tradition

4) Don’t be insecure about your own identity (self reflection) — Each participant needs to describe her/himself from their perspective and postion. For example, only a Muslim can describe what it really means to be an authentic member of the Muslim community. At the same time, when one’s partner in dialogue attempts to describe back to them what they have understood of their partner’s self-description, then such a description must be recognizable to the described party Participants in dialogue should have a healthy level of criticism toward their own traditions. A lack of such criticism implies that one’s tradition has all the answers, thus making dialogue not only unnecessary but unfeasible. The primary purpose of dialogue is to learn, which is impossible if one’s tradition is seen as having all the answers. Sometimes you can explore and understand yourself better when engaging with others. Interfaith dialogue to foster understanding among religions

5) Accept boundaries you are in a Journey- Don’t feel that you are the spokesperson for your entire community or faith tradition or that you ought somehow to know everything there is to know about it. Admit any confusion or uncertainty you might have if a puzzling question arises

6) Dialogue must be a two-sided project: both between religious/ideological groups, and within religious/ideological groups (inter- and intra-). Intra-religious/ideological dialogue is vital for moving one’s community toward an increasingly perceptive insight into reality. Understand similarities and differences between theological and philosophical discussions on an intellectual level. Don’t assume in advance where points of agreement or disagreement will exist. Everyone should be willing to be self-critical

7) Lived Experience is vital — One must compare only her/his ideals with their partner’s ideals and her/his practice with the partner’s practice, not one’s ideals with one’s partner’s practice. Value other peoples position and experience and spirituality by learning about different religions through sacred writings, stories and narratives. Everyone must be permitted to define their own religious experience and identity, and others must respect this

8) Trust is a means and a goal — Trust is a must. Confidences must be kept within the group. Everyone should feel “safe “ to express their ideas and feelings without fear. Dialogue can only take place on the basis of mutual trust. Because it is persons, and not entire communities, that enter into dialogue, it is essential for personal trust to be established. To encourage this it is important that less controversial matters are discussed before dealing with more controversial ones

9) Work together on joint projects to actualize your shared ideals and understandings. — You need to work together on specific projects to actualize that trust. Nothing works better than joint projects on the ground helping to actualize the commonality and differences between people.

trust building

Trust building through dialogue involving shared endeavour and mutual vulnerability requires a willingness to be open to understanding the lifeworld of another. This most certainly does not mean that one needs to agree with its every detail, nor to, in some way, concede something essential in oneself. It does however need to understand where other ideas are coming from — historically and intellectually. In other words, the doors need to be kept open, not slammed shut.

So how do we build the trust that creates the ideas and institutions that will allow us to live together as the global tribe? Using the Trust Quotient buttressed by the 4 R’s of Trustbuilding outlined in part 1 one can create a safe space for critical self-reflection but more importantly to reach out to dialogue with the other. This is extremely important to achieve what the pope calls as the search for “reconciliation and fraternity”

This originally appeared here

Diversity is a fact

 Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives are currently occupying everyone’s attention since the murder of George Floyd in 2020, and the concept of anti-racism and decolonization became more prominent. However, to start with that, it is important to note that the co-option of racism, diversity and inclusion, social justice and social good does not equate with a conversation on decolonisation. We need to understand the narrative of decolonisation, colonial, localization and the intersection with diversity, equality, and inclusion. Yet they are not the same!

Decolonisation debates did not start in 2020 but started when people in the global south began organizing to counter the ideologies of the oppressors who sought to enforce power and seize land. It is about coming up with a new ‘paradigm’ of thinking and approach that interrogates the post-colonial agenda provides agency to the ‘local’ that has a pedagogy of liberation and freedom that works in partnership with the affected community. It is about disrupting the system and upending the structure according to and with local voices, cultures and traditions. It is about taking the risk and having the right actors at the table to hear their voices.  

The conversations around DEI focus on the need to provide for inclusive participation. Inclusive participation is about understanding that power imbalances in all societies mean that some people experience more privilege. Those same power imbalances mean that many other people experience more violence, discrimination and exclusion than others. Some of the most prominent examples of power imbalances have been expressed through racism, xenophobia, colonialism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of entrenched oppression that remain rampant globally. 

This means getting a better understanding of the intersectionality of identities. Individuals have several layers to their identities. Gender, ethnic origin, nationality or citizenship, age, disability, language, political opinions, religious beliefs, social background, sexual orientation, physical appearance and colour that “intersect” – or are “woven” together.

People suffer discrimination against a combination of these factors. An intersectional perspective emphasizes the importance of looking at these forms of discrimination together and at the same time in order to understand their compound effects on the individual.

At the heart of the inclusive, participative approach is an analysis of not only how pre-existing inequalities and differences lead to vulnerabilities, capacities, risks and levels of exposure to harm; for different people but how the intersectionalities of identities (such as people’s gender, disability, age, ethnic origin, nationality or citizenship, language, religious beliefs, political opinion, social background, sexual orientation, physical appearance and colour) impact the level of barriers they face in their efforts to meet basic needs, to be recognized and included, and to be safe from harm. Considering these factors and how they interrelate is central to looking at immediate risks and consequences of exclusion and violations and the causes of those risks.

Thus the central concept of inclusive participation is the emphasis on the equality and dignity of each human being and the humanitarian imperative to not discriminate against any single one – including acknowledging that if we do not adapt our work and approach to the different needs of different people, and we do not model the diversity of the community we serve, we are in fact discriminatory!!

 

1

 

This paradigm shift in thinking and approach relies on equity which is different to the concept of equality. The latter is based on the assumption that everyone benefits from the same support. This is represented by diagram 1.

However, equity speaks more to the intersectional approach, which speaks to how individuals may need different types of support and approaches based on their varying vulnerabilities in varying degrees in order to benefit from equal outcomes.

Thus, equity leads to equality!! For example, working on equal gender rights means that equitable measures need to be taken to ensure those equal rights are met.

This is represented by diagram 2. 

2

 

 

Ideally, the scenario from the diagrams is to get rid of the fence altogether, as shown below in diagram 3.

3

This is justice and ultimately the end result of inclusive participation and social inclusion.

Inclusive participation improves the ability, opportunity and dignity of individuals and groups excluded on the basis of their identity to take part in society. Working on social inclusion matters reduces in reducing inequalities based on social backgrounds, identities, roles and power relations. Providing inclusive services means giving equitable access to resources for all. This means that everyone has a role to play. It is not only important that we get people from the ‘minority’ groups to shout louder about getting equitable rights and representation. It is not until their narrative is understood and mainstreamed by the majority that we can actually move the conversation forward. DEI should not be a simple ‘tick box’ exercise but an integral and embedded process that takes into account power dynamics, identities, possibilities and vulnerabilities across societies.

We need to do better; we need to be better, not because it is the good thing to do, but the right thing to do, to treat people with dignity, respect and humanity. This is our moral responsibility. Put simply, diversity is a fact, and inclusion is an act!!!

This originally appeared here