A 20-Year Reflection

It’s that time of year when I experience my annual “George Bailey” moment — a meaningful period for reflection and gratitude. This year is particularly special as I celebrate 20 years of my humanitarian, development, and peacebuilding journey. While some may hesitate to celebrate personal achievements in the wake of tragedy, I view the 2004 tsunami as a pivotal moment that reshaped my life — just as it did for countless others. This catastrophic event acted as a powerful catalyst, propelling me away from a conventional career in civil engineering that I had pursued since graduating from university in 2000.

After the devastating loss of five family members to the tsunami, I made a bold and transformative decision. I left behind everything I knew: I packed my belongings, rented out my house, and bravely returned to Sri Lanka — a country I had known only through summer vacations — as a volunteer to help the community. More than just a homecoming, this was a bold step into a new chapter filled with opportunity and purpose.

I was tasked with establishing the Muslim Aid Sri Lanka field office from the ground up. This role demanded strategic vision and leadership in hiring new staff and creating operational systems to meet the urgent needs in the aftermath of the disaster. Starting in 2006, as the civil conflict in Sri Lanka reignited, my focus evolved towards conflict resolution and peacebuilding. This shift allowed me to channel my energy into initiatives that fostered collaboration and dialogue among diverse groups, bridging gaps in a deeply divided society.

Over the past twenty years, I have transitioned through various roles, working with a think tank, engaging with a peacebuilding organisation, and providing consultancy to many entities, including the United Nations. Today, I am honoured to be part of the world’s largest and oldest humanitarian network.

Throughout my journey, I have faced challenges, each bringing opportunities. Many, including parts of my family, initially struggled to comprehend my choice to move away from a lucrative engineering career into the nonprofit sector. It was not typical in the early noughties for a young South Asian man graduating from one of the top Engineering universities in the UK to move from the coveted role of engineer with a prestigious engineering company to a humanitarian worker working with a faith-based NGO. People didn’t fully grasp the significance of humanitarian work. Some accused me of being in trouble and escaping and running away. Others thought I was having a mid-life crisis (at 26!!). While some may not fully understand where I work or what I do, I stand firm in my conviction that making that shift in 2004 was one of my life's best decisions.

Nevertheless, I have navigated and continue to navigate challenges, especially self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Being a natural introvert, it is often hard to make oneself heard in a world of jargon and goodwill, and people feel self-important because of the latter. In an ecosystem struggling to articulate a decolonised approach, trying to buck the trend is challenging, as people ‘question’ your abilities or experience or, worse still, your colour (and faith) can be limiting. It is even more challenging when I see peers excelling in their careers and receiving accolades for achievements after spending decades perfecting their singular crafts whilst I have moved around here and there. It can be easy to feel overshadowed.

I consistently ask myself critical questions about my impact and whether my presence makes a difference. I constantly question as to whether I made the right choice in 2004.

These questions have become louder recently, especially over the last 18 months. I have witnessed global inaction regarding protecting innocent lives. This is a challenging reality. It is easy to succumb to despair, and it isn't easy to overcome it. Yet, it is one’s responsibility to do so. You must believe that every contribution counts, focusing on the lives you touch and the positive change you can help create.

I draw strength from the people I serve and collaborate with every day. I cherish the smiles that emerge when your interventions meet their basic needs, whether providing food, shelter, or emotional support. I am inspired by the resilience of those who lose everything yet stand firm in hope and with a smile. The unwavering spirit of individuals who dedicate their time and resources to help others energises me and reinforces my purpose. I find profound joy in the prayers of gratitude of those in need, knowing their voices are heard.

Being paid to do this work is an incredible honour and privilege. Muhammad Ali famously said, “Service is the rent you pay for a room on this earth,” I wholeheartedly embrace this philosophy. Along with the Qur’anic injunction that “if you save the life of one person, it would be as if you have saved the whole of humanity” (5:32), these statements have motivated my sustained commitment to this field for the past two decades.

Throughout my career, I have had the honour of traveling to numerous countries and immersing myself in diverse cultures and traditions. I have engaged with remarkable individuals, from heads of state and royalty to activists, writers, and everyday people. This experience has reinforced a powerful truth: at our core, we all share a common desire to improve our lives and the lives of our families. We all value our loved ones, and we naturally have fears about what we do not understand and who we do not know.

When we humanise one another and break down barriers, we uncover the reality that the “other” is navigating life the same way we are — step by step. This recognition represents a crucial breakthrough that fosters respect, acceptance and understanding. I firmly believe that authentic dialogue is essential for promoting trust and respect. While we may not always agree, we can create a safe and courageous space for open communication and learning.

There is strength in difference. Diversity is a fact; Inclusion is an act, and Belonging is an outcome. As we confront the complexities of our interconnected world, we must acknowledge that we cannot simply avoid one another. We are responsible for coexisting, supporting each other, and honouring our shared humanity. We must do more to ensure belonging and inclusion, but this does not mean acquiescence or compromise.

I’ve understood that personal and professional lives are intricately intertwined and embedded. There is no separation or professional/personal life balance. There is just life balance. Achieving a balance in life comes from what you make of it; you are judged for all you have done and how you have treated people in all aspects of life. How you show up in one part of life depends on other parts. Suppose you have had a bad day at home; this can happen at work and vice versa. You need to show up 100% in whatever you do, and that means that things are not in silos but connected. I have learnt that on your deathbed, the most important thing is about the people you touch, the relationships you build, the experiences you have, the kindness you display and the compassion you have in dealing with things.

Life (careers, personal, family) is like a mango tree. It must develop deep roots in the ground to ensure proper nutrients and a solid foundation, spreading the networks wide and getting influences from all over. A solid trunk is needed to act as an appropriate support to hold the weight of all the expectations. That trunk grows with time but needs the roots to feed it. The foliage and the branches spread far and wide, providing opportunities for sun and rain. The branches and leaves provide much-needed shelter, cover and comfort for those seeking it, especially during rain or extreme sun. The branches offer opportunities to climb to pick the fruit, yet you never climb vertically. To get to the top of the mango tree, you need to move up, come down or move sideways. This is what life is. Getting ahead in life is never a straight climb up a ladder. Lastly, like a mango tree, you must return fruit when a stone is thrown at it.

I am incredibly privileged to be working in a social movement alongside 17 million other people who passionately and sincerely believe in promoting human dignity for all, preventing and alleviating human suffering wherever it may be found, and not discriminating as to nationality, race, religious beliefs, class or political opinions using the tools of neutrality (to take sides in hostilities or engage at any time in controversies of a political, racial, religious or ideological nature) and independence through voluntary service, unity and universality. While these Fundamental Principles of the Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement have been sorely tested and challenged, they remain essential as a north star and compass to navigate these difficult times. It is an honour to be part of the work of these individuals and others who conform daily to the code of conduct.

When I look back at the last 20 years, I can only ponder that it is through God’s grace that I have climbed the mango tree in the way I have. I am grateful to God for the opportunities and challenges (that have helped me grow) that have come my way. Without His Mercy, Guidance and Comfort (especially during some of the darkest times), I would not have made it through. I am grateful to my family and friends who are too numerous to cite by name, who have and continue to support me. Special shout out to my wife and son for their patience and support during these times, especially when I am away from home (supporting other families instead of mine). I am grateful to the guidance and mentorship of my late father (may God be pleased with him), on whose shoulders I stand, trying to push forward a vision of making the world a better place. I am grateful for the ongoing support and mentorship from my dear sister, Dr Jemilah Mahmood, who continues to support, inspire, and guide me. Is there any time I need to seek advice? I am also thankful for my spiritual guru, Rev Ebenezer Joseph, who routinely helps me appreciate and understand the role of faith in our work and helps me know that you can still do interfaith work without compromise. All that is needed is trust-building, dialogue and patience. He routinely reminds me of the need to pause and listen.

As I continue my journey, I remain confidently committed to making a meaningful impact in the lives of those I come across — hoping that my work matters and that every small change contributes to a greater collective good. I am unsure where the next 20 years will take me, if I will be alive in the next 20 years, or whether the next branch of life I will climb will be like the last.

I am at a crossroads as I now ponder my legacy and what I want to leave my son and the world. I don’t know if the next 20 years will be focused on more humanitarian, peacebuilding or development work or something completely different. There are hopes and aspirations for what might be, but what will be is something for the future. I pray that whatever I do or wherever I go if I can help make the world slightly better than when I found it, this will be done my way.

This initially appeared here: 

Living from the Inside Out

All of us are on a journey trying to live our life from the inside out.  Though our methods of transportation maybe different, we are all travellers on the same path towards spiritual enlightenment and happiness.  The ultimate and most difficult lesson to learn on this journey is to understand our destination and the steps that are needed to get there. 

We all know the story of how Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity under an apple tree.  This ‘eureka’ moment helped him to postulate that the Universe is actually made up of small and large objects that are in a constant ‘tug of war’ with each other, i.e. they are constantly attracted and repelled from each other. He called this theory ‘the theory of gravity’ which forms much of the basis of physics we learn in schools. However, after many centuries, Albert Einstein in trying to understand how gravity actually works noticed a small problem with the Newtonian Theory of Gravity which stated ‘that if one were to drop an Apple, it will move in a straight line toward the centre of the Earth’.  The problem that Einstein noticed was that the Earth rotates around its axis.  Thus according to Einstein, when one drops an apple, it does not just fall in a straight line, but would also rotate with the earth. This is analogous to dropping an apple from outside a fast moving car or within a fast moving car.  If dropped outside a fast moving car, it would fall at an angle compared to it being dropped inside the car.  Einstein went a bit further and postulated that since the earth moves around the sun, a falling apple would not only rotate with the earth (in an angular movement) but it would also move around the sun. So an alien in space would see the apple ‘moving’ in many directions and not just ‘falling’.  This was the beginning of his general theory of relativity which stated that ‘what is observed is dependent on the reference point OR from where it is observed’. This means in the case of the Apple, if Jack was to drop an Apple, he would observe the apple falling relative to him.

So the first step in understanding this journey from inside out is that everything is relative.

Einstein also came up with his theory of Special Relativity which incorporates the principle that the speed of light is the same for all inertial observers regardless of the state of motion of the source ie   E = mc² which states that the speed of light is the fastest speed possible in the Universe.  Calculations show that the light takes 8 minutes to reach the earth from the sun. So when we look at an object, we are looking at the light being reflected from that said object.  Thus when we look at the sun, what we actually see is the light from the sun which has taken 8 minutes to reach us from the sun.   Equally when we look at the stars at night, we are looking at them approximately a million years ago since this is how long it takes for light from the stars to reach us.

So what does this mean? You can never see objects like the sun in the ‘present-tense’, unless you touch it thereby eliminating the space between the objects (the observer and the observed).  This was the basis for Einstein to link ‘space’ with ‘time’ which means that to completely describe an object or its state, we need to know both its space and time. So whatever we do is present, and all we observe is the past, i.e. it is gone to the past. So we are the only present and everything we observe is the past!

So the second step in recognising living inside out, is that whatever we are seeing that is taking place has to some extent already happened, and we are just seeing it now.

Newton’s third law explains about the ‘cause and effect’ theory which means that when we let go of the apple from a high place (cause), the Apple falls to the ground (effect). When the Apple hits the road hard (cause), it breaks up into many pieces (effect). So dropping an Apple is a ‘cause’. The apple falling is an ‘effect’ due to us dropping it.  The apple breaking is an ‘effect’ of the ‘cause’ of hitting the ground.  However, have you ever thought about questioning WHY the apple should fall?  Why doesn’t it turn into a bird and fly off? After all the apple changing into a bird is also an ‘effect’ of the ‘cause’ of dropping the apple. Thus there is a ‘link’ between a cause and a specific effect.  This link explains the ‘why’ which the famous philosopher Nietzsche more than 100 years ago, stated that we cannot explain the how and why this ‘link’ works the way it does and what links each cause with each effect.

So the third step is that there is a link between what has happened (‘effect’) and what has been done (‘cause’).

Here is an interesting conundrum.  Let us say you and 2 friends go out for dinner.  After dinner, your bill comes up to £25. Since there were 3 people, you each pay £10 to the waiter. The waiter returns with your change of £5. You decide to give the waiter a £2 tip for his wonderful service and each of you took back £1. So the question is: How much did you pay for the dinner?  The answer is simple, since you gave £10 each and you took back £1, you paid £9 each (£10-£1). Simple, right?  But wait a minute, there is a problem. If each person paid £9, therefore, the total paid by the 3 people is £27 (£9x3). And since you gave the waiter a tip of £2, therefore the total amount paid is £27 + 2 = £29. But you paid a total of £30. Where did the extra £1 go? Did the waiter steal it? Can you answer this supposed illogicality? Or is your mind just playing tricks with you?

So the fourth step in living inside out is that things are not as they seem and sometimes we see the world differently to how it appears.

So what do all these steps mean in contributing to a living inside out? Just like the world we observe, which has to be viewed with a clear vision, we will need clarity and a proper framework when we think or reflect on matters. We have to be aware of all opinion before developing our own, since all ideas are relative to a base and viewpoint from which they are all built and there are many bases available to us. We need to know how our idea is different to others and we need to know how to connect them with others within our knowledge. We should also be aware of the time and the space when our ideas were developed and its relevance to the present and in particular the future, since it is the future we are concerned about and not necessarily the present.  We should be humble enough to acknowledge that for every cause, there is an effect and sometimes we make mistakes and our thinking process can sometime deceive us, i.e. there are times when we lie to ourselves!

In short these steps identify that living inside out is as much as the process as is the destination and it is important to focus on both.  For those of you who have read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, the understanding of this destination is very simple: ‘Go; travel the world, look for the truth and the secret of life – every road will lead you to this sense of initiation: the secret is hidden in the place from which you set out’.  Thus you find your destination only by rediscovering the essence of your own nature. The essence of your own nature is the ‘return to oneself’ with a consciousness of the other and a humility to recognise the steps needed to reach that destination.

 A wise man once said, ‘Between every stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.  In those choices lie our growth and happiness.’

Such is the meaning of profound spirituality and the need to live inside out requiring man to acquire a force of being and doing.  Hence within this space everyone is asked to take up a dialogue with The Most-High, a dialogue of intimacy, of sincerity, of love.  Within this space is the horizon of all spirituality requiring man to acquire a force of being and doing, rather than to undergo despotic relentlessness of a life reduced to mere instinct.  Within this space, we marry the purpose of our existence with the purpose of our subsistence.   Living inside out, we must comprehend the message: You are indeed what you do with yourself. You are responsible for the actions you take.

Hence the steps towards living inside out and its destination is to serve humanity, those in need; those without! That purpose is to awaken our conscience in the proximity of the wounds and the injustices people face! That purpose is to move away from selfishness / greed and waste; to distance our selves from the darkest dimensions of our being, our violence, our jealousies, our superficialities.  That purpose is to face our responsibilities with confidence and assurance

Thus responsibility is placed upon the shoulder of the individual to take the lead in becoming a true citizen of the country and of the world, where he / she rise above their narrow confines of individualistic concerns to face the broader concerns of all humanity and to redress the contradiction of society enabling people and their communities to live in dignity, peace and independence with social justice.

This contradiction of society will be redressed when all citizens come together confident in their universal principles; strengthened by their common values; they will be defenders of pluralism in their society and respectful of identities of others; they will take up the challenge of joining forces in a revolution of trust and confidence against the tide of discrimination and intolerance and poverty.

A shortened version of this appeared on the Spirit of Humanity Forum

Spirituality: The Glue that Binds Us

As one gets older it is not surprising that one’s thoughts turns to how life was so much better in one’s youth. It just seems that the world is a much more different place today than it ever was. Some of it is really exciting in terms of the progress made in technology but there is still room for improvement, with poverty still rampant in some parts of the world, wars still raging and an inequality that separates those that have from those that do not have.

We live in an era of globalisation and technological change, cutthroat politics, and culture conflict. Many will argue that in this current globalising world such rivalry, competition, conflicts, and violence are a necessary tool to preserve the ‘values of freedom’.

However such violence is only perpetuated from deeply delusive and divisive assumptions of single exclusive identities by sectarian activists who want people to ignore all affiliation and loyalties in support of one specific identity. Such exclusive identities are often negative, stressing difference rather than belonging, ‘opposition to’ rather than ‘support for’ something.

Whatever the source of conflict, we know that conflict starts in the minds and hearts of people and when people shut themselves from reasoning, prejudice overtakes and communication breaks down. Conflicts reinforce rumour, hearsay and generalization which are the first steps that lead to the stereotyping of people (their faith, their culture and identity) and the denial of a diverse, lived reality, the opposite of respect, understanding and acceptance.

It is as a result of this that the world is experiencing turmoil and as such needs a new solution, new vision and new understanding which takes into account ways of relating with each other especially in an increasingly interdependent community. This new solution should involve the recognition of our plurality and the searching for commonalities within this pluralism that will lead to greater respect and ultimately greater understanding.

However we somehow don’t seem to possess a shared language with which to discuss this recognition, much less the tools to arrive at a consensus as to how we as a community and society and nation might work together, to bring this about.

This shared language can be the language of spirituality which will allow us to recognise the common space and substance amongst all doctrines that will provide the fuel for social change and trigger action for the unity of humanity.

This shared language will enable us to develop a set of ideals that continue to stir our collective conscience; a common set of values that bind us together despite our differences; a running thread of hope that makes this improbable experiment of reconciling and rehabilitation of communities at disagreement. These are living values and ideals which cannot find expression on paper or monuments or in the annals of history books. They remain alive in the hearts and minds of people and they should inspire us to pride, duty and sacrifice. We need these living values to build on shared understandings. Much of what ails us involves a breakdown in culture, respect, understanding and acceptance. This will not be cured by money. Values and spiritual life matter as much as GDP. These values are the glue that binds every healthy society.

Spirituality thus is an awareness of the interconnection of all things to provide the fuel for social change. It is the ability to recognise that diverse doctrines have a common space and substance as we all belong to this world and we need to live in peace with everything and everyone and protect it for those who come after us. Spirituality is about a sense of duty and sacrifice on behalf of those who are voiceless. Spirituality is a faith in something bigger than ourselves whether it is formal religion or way of life or ethical precepts. It is this faith that allows us to value behaviour that express mutual regard for one another, honesty, fairness, humility, kindness courtesy and compassion.

Spirituality is not religiosity or preaching your religious values, although these form components of a lived spirituality. It is about something greater. We are not here to preach to anyone or convert anyone. We are not here to denigrate someone and their ideals.

The Famous Victorian Explorer Sir Richard Burton once wrote that

‘All Faith is false, all Faith is true: Truth is the shattered mirror strewn In myriad bits; while each believes his little bit the whole to own’ where he meant that you will find parts of the truth everywhere and the whole truth nowhere.

What he meant to say was that we all seem to think that we have the ultimate truth, yet, it is a truth that is part of a greater truth. So if we think in the grander scheme of things (beyond theology and ideology) to unite humanity with peace, respect and understanding, then each of us (with our faith and spiritual teachings) have a bit of that shard of broken glass. This can be pieced together on issues of commonality, as opposed to focusing on our points of difference. Then we would have made the first step towards spiritual reconciliation between communities.

Thus our task as change makers is to try and see how we can piece these broken bits of the mirror. What is the glue we will use? What are the tools? What does the final mosaic look like?

In such a climate as we have today, any assertion of shared ideals or common values might seem unrealistic or hopelessly naive- an attempt to gloss over serious differences or worse or a means of muffling the complaints of those who feel ill served by current institutional arrangements. The point is that we have no choice. We need a new alternative to what has been done so far. We have got to a position where something new needs to happen. Narrow interests have vied for advantage with ideological minorities seeking to impose their own versions of absolute truth that we are left cynical and unsure. It is time we reassembled the pieces of the broken mirror.

Tan Sen, the master musician at the court of the Moghul Emperor, Akhbar, had some fifteen musical instruments in the Emperor’s chamber, which he had tuned to one frequency. Upon playing just one instrument’s musical note, the other fourteen started to resonate, to the astonishment and delight of the audience

Ideally this story can serve well as a metaphor for how communities can work in harmony to achieve an enlightened result and serves as a lesson for how we can move forward.